Okay! Time to determine your political sophistication.
- What political affiliation are you? If you answer in a heartbeat, -10 points. If you prevaricate a little before answering, -5 points. If you say something other than “Democrat” or “Republican”, +0 points. If you answer “Conservative” or “Liberal”, you should probably give up this test – you’re going to lose.
- Have you ever voted for a member of the ‘opposite’ party?
- Who is the stupidest/worst/lamest/etc member of your party? Or name someone who you respect from the opposite party (need not necessarily vote for).
- Name something good said by a member of the opposite party.
- Any issue you don’t back your party with?
- Any issue where you agree with the ‘other’ party?
- What kind of thing, theoretically, would have to happen for you to leave your party?
If you had a hard time answering the questions because you don’t know which party is ‘your’ party and which is the ‘other’ party – you’re lying. Everyone leans. Or else you’re saying if you average up your votes for all things that it does end up right down the middle then you’re a weirdo.
If you easily answered the questions – answering #1 in a heartbeat and easily able to say that ‘no’ or ‘nothing’ is your answer for everything else, you are a douche. People like you make political discourse in the US into simple mudlsinging and label-attaching. When your party decends into some awful, terrible place from which all reasonable people will climb out, you will cling on. Congratulations. You are a Nazi. You kill women and children. You lose.
If you answered Yes to all the questions you are still lying. Stop it!
If you answered Yes to a couple of the questions, then good. You are interesting.